The Barnesyard

-"The Illusionist" (2006 - Dir.: Neil Burger) Engaging and tricksy story of poker-faced magician Norton mesmerizing turn-of-the-century Austrian society. A chance onstage encounter with his upper-class childhood sweetheart (their love was denied by the barrier between their classes) leads to a flirtation, a murder, and a mystery that might be solved by Norton's magic. Second-time director Burger (he made a small 2002 film called "Interview With the Assassin" that shows on IFC/Sundance sometimes) finds a correlation between the illusion-making of magicians and that of filmmakers - indeed, film projection, which would have been invented around the time this film takes place, is one of the key's to Norton's illusions. The film is well-shot and well-acted, with a veneer of class, but it's not great. Paul Giamatti, who is quickly turning into an insufferable ham, plays a nosy police inspector, but his performance belongs in a Mel Brooks film. GRADE: B.

-"World Trade Center" (2006 - Dir.: Oliver Stone) Visually intense but emotionally perfunctory 9/11 drama tells the true-life story of two ordinary Port Authority workers (Nic Cage and Jon Seda) who get trapped in and rescued from the rubble of the fallen Twin Towers. The first third of the film is the best, teeming with the queasy confusion of the day. The interesting thing about Cage and Seda's characters is that they don't do anything remotely heroic besides show up on the scene - they spend a lot of time moving slowly from place to place, stocking up on safety equipment, and then the Towers suddenly collapse on top of them. The second third mostly centers on Cage and Seda trapped in the rubble, immobile and frightened - Cage does his best acting since "Adaptation" in these scenes (although he still looks disturbingly gaunt). Stone's film fails whenever it moves away from the rubble - the story of the wives is too cute and neat, and the scenes with the civilian rescuers strive fruitlessly for poetry. Still, it's better than you probably would have expected. On a larger level, the film's box office performance indicates that Stone will live to shoot another day. GRADE: B-.

-"Snakes on a Plane" (2006 - Dir.: David R. Ellis) I don't know what else to say about this one. By know, "Snakes On a Plane" has joined the clear soda craze on a legendary list of overhyped products that consumers never gave a flying fuck about. But is it that bad? Not at all. The pre-snakes, pre-plane "story" - a witless surf bum witnesses a mob killing, gets pursued by a vicious gang lord, and finds protection from special agent Sam Jackson, who brings him to America to testify - is torturously drawn out, considering the circumstances. Who cares? No one. You could set it all up with a few lines of dialogue as they GET ON THE PLANE. "Hey, that sure was bullshit when you witnessed that killing and the mob boss tried to have you killed!" "Well, I'm sure glad you came to protect me, and now we're safe on this plane heading to America." Done. I just cut a half hour from your film. Anyway, finally they're on the plane, the pheromone-sprayed killer snakes are released, and everyone goes apeshit. All in all, it's pretty fun, and you get what you hope for - snakes biting dudes on the dong, biting chicks on the tit, a giant snake swallowing some guy's head whole. No complaints there. As the action hero, Jackson does some solid phoning it in. You never doubt him in the role, but for christ's sake...it wasn't that long ago this guy was considered one of the best actors in film. GRADE: B-.

-"Sketches of Frank Gehry" (2006 - Dir.: Sydney Pollack) Slight but intriguing documentary about the unique and divisive architect Frank Gehry, who creates enormous, bizarre, rococo structures based on indicipherable sketches and childlike models. Pollack is Gehry's friend, so this often staid film borders on hagiography, but it's still an interesting examination of creative spark and artistic method, and Gehry's buildings are beautifully photographed. GRADE: B.

-"Beerfest" (2006 - Dir.: Jay Chandrasekhar) The Broken Lizard troupe's latest is a tough one to call. On the one hand, it's a harmless celebration of all things sophomoric and an enormous step up from "Club Dread" (although still a million miles from "Super Troopers"), with a fair number of honest laughs. On the other hand, it really is a lazy piece of shit. Two American brothers get humiliated at an underground German drinking games contest known as Beerfest, so they regroup and return a year later with a ragtag group of misfits to claim the prize. The film misses nearly every opportunity to properly satirize uptight Germans, but SNL-er Will Forte does a really funny whiny German voice. Decent if your standards are low enough. GRADE: B-.

**************

Up next: Dare Daniel - "The Ape"